Monday, April 13, 2009

Chronicles of Mario Drakes, Part 2

OK OK so in the first part of this three part series I introduced you to the man that is Mario Drakes, and shared one of our many stories together with him. Now, in the second part, I’m going to share another story with you because well lets face it, one story of Mario Drakes just wasn’t enough. It should be noted that you have to read the first part of this to truly understand Part 2. So before you go any further, scroll down below to the next blog post and look for Part 1 . . . or simply click this link.

Now that that is out of the way and you have read Part 1 we can get you started on Part 2. In Part 2 I’m going to share a story with you that I get reminded of every time I hear that song with the lyrics “pissing the night away” and let me tell you why:

My brother and I shared a room in his house, bunk beds and all. (Where my bunk bed gangsters at... stand up!) I slept on the top bunk while Vin (my twin brother), who was terrified of heights as a child (nah I’m kiddin’, he actually lost the rights to the top bunk in an intense game of Go Fish to me), slept on the bottom.

Anyway, one night while I’m sleepin’ in my bed minding my own fuckin’ business. . . I’m awoken by a bright ass light that is directly above me. So I’m laying there trying to figure out if Jesus wants a word with me or some shit. . . Looking directly into the center of the light noticing that there ain’t no music playing like you see in the movies and thinking to myself that this better be good since this mother fucker is waking me up in the middle of my sleep. Turns out I was wrong about it being the light from the heavens and since there was no music playing, my ears eventually fixated on a sound coming from my room. Now at this point I wasn’t quite sure what it was because it sounded like someone was pouring out a water bottle onto the carpet but when my eyes caught up to my ears and regained their sight I was able to look into the direction of the sound. . . And low and behold guess who it was? That’s right, mother fuckin’
Mario Drakes!

See at first all my eyes saw was his head poppin’ up beyond my foot board, then as all my vision returned to me I was able to see that he was standing between our bunk beds and the dresser which was against the far wall. After thinking to myself, “what the fuck is going on” I realized what actually was going on. . . This Budweiser drinkin’- Sambuca mixin’ MFer was pissing onto the carpet! Now, you’re probably thinking “Papi, come on, how do you know that? What if he was just spilling out his beer for the homies while rummaging through the dresser?”.... Because the next day my shoes, which I kept between the dresser and bunk beds, smelt of urine.... I repeat, URM-IN-ATION! That’s how the hell I know what went down. Luckily for me we were leaving soon so I only had to wear my piss infested shoes a couple more days longer. The End.

Stay tuned for Part 3.

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