*if you haven't read part 1 or 2 do so before you read part 3
The other short story I have for you will close out this three part series on Mario Drakes... Don’t be sad, little one, there might be a Part 4 eventually. . . However, this next tale of Mario Drakes will be it for now. So let’s begin:
You remember them laser pointers right? Remember that phase everyone went through where they had to have them for some fuckin’ reason or another? Yeah, so Vin and I had a couple. They were cool, we did what all kids our age did with them (or at least what they should have did anyway)... Like point them through your neighbors windows while they were sitting in their living rooms watching tv, placing the red dot onto their forehead and prank calling them. . . Speaking in a Russian accent and sayin’ shit like “If you don’t hand over the disk your wife’s brain noodles will be splattered on the wall behind her”. Yeah, you know what I mean.
So this one day when we’re with Mario Drakes we’re cruising in the Lincoln, its night time and we have the laser pointers out. All is good in the world, I think we just left the mall or movies, I forget exactly but we were on a road with multiple red lights and we seemed to be hitting all of them. There was a car behind us which had been following us for some time now and every time we stopped at a red light my brother and I thought it was best to check that fool quick by pointing our laser pointers into the rear view mirror so that it would reflect backwards and into his car. . . Particularly right into his eye balls.
Well I guess about 5 or 6 red lights in this guy decided he had enough. Prompting him to open his car door, step out of the vehicle, and walk towards our car. To which everything around us went into slow motion, Vin muttered the words “oohh shhhhiiitt”, and Mario Drakes while remaining calm, peeled out and ran the red light... cutting off only a mini-van in the process. Nah, I’m just playin’. Mario Drakes didn’t run the red light. You’re talkin’ about Mario Mutha Fuckin’ Drakes! The same guy who snorts lines before driving the fam an hour to the family picnics. The same guy who uses his son’s shoes as a toilet bowel. Instead, as the guy got out of his car and just as he was approaching our trunk, the light turned green and Mario Drakes slowly and calmly drove away. Leaving the pissed off gentlemen behind us looking like a fool as his now driver-less car backed up traffic. When asked by his children what he woulda done had the guy wanted to “talk”, Mario Drakes replied with a slight smirk on his face, “I woulda said ‘it would be best for you to get back into your vehicle’”.